8 Benefits of Social Media Boundaries for the Highly Sensitive Person

There is such a love-hate relationship with social media and our devices.  We’re fully aware of why too much scrolling and screen time is harmful, but it’s also very alluring.  Being able to stay in touch with loved ones across time zones and state lines, see vacation photos from your best friend in real time, or find others who have the same quirky passion as you is an incredible gift.  And always having some type of entertainment at your fingertips means never being bored again!  

The downside is being so plugged in that you lose connection with yourself, your emotions, and your needs.  Just think through your day - how often do you fill the empty spaces with screen time?  Waking up - scroll through Instagram.  Waiting in line - glance at your text messages.  On a walk - listen to a podcast.  In the car - call a friend.  Watching a show - check Facebook or play a game.  Falling asleep at night - put on a video. There are so many opportunities to hop on social media or pick up your phone, including when you’re stressed out or an uncomfortable emotion arises that you don’t want to feel.  

In a previous post, I explored how overstimulating social media can be for Highly Sensitive People and how to manage your engagement with it.  Recently I wanted to see how it would feel to completely take a break from social media and drastically limit my phone usage.  For seven days, I didn’t touch my phone before 12pm or after 8pm and completely went off all social media apps.  The first 2-3 days were an adjustment as I noticed the many impulses to reach for my phone during times of boredom or overstimulation (ironically), but after that I felt a shift.  

Here are my reflections and takeaways from that week...

Space for Transitions

I’ll admit that I have developed a bad habit in the mornings of hopping on my phone from bed to glance at emails or answer any important messages.  I thought allowing myself to stay in bed longer was an act of self-care, but over this past week it became really clear that I was actually just overstimulating myself and making it even harder to transition out of bed.  Alternatively, having space to think, reflect, and ease into the day without the distraction of a screen made it so much easier to get up.  Quiet space to process and transition into the next phase of the day is so important for HSPs, but often that time gets filled with digital distractions, leaving you to feel rushed and overstimulated.   

More Downtime and Quiet Reflection = Better Sleep

Without filling those little moments throughout the day with screen time, I found myself doing things like gazing out the window at the trees after lunch or writing very detailed entries in my journal.  There was more quiet to hear my thoughts and process my experiences from the day which made it much easier to fall asleep at night.  Instead of fighting off all the noise at bedtime,  my mind was much clearer since I had processed throughout the day, not waited to think everything over all at once as I was trying to get to sleep. 

Increased Self-Awareness 

With more time and bandwidth to listen inward, I started to become more aware of my needs in the moment.  It’s easy to miss your body’s subtle cues amidst the flashy, dopamine producing allure of your phone.  Getting more quiet made space to notice when my body needed movement, rest, food, or connection.

Quality Connections

Although it seems so passive and introverted, engaging on social media uses up a lot of energy that could otherwise be spent connecting with friends or loved ones offline.  This is why society is more “connected” than ever, but loneliness and depression are also on the rise.  Over the past week, I found myself having more bandwidth than I have had in awhile to connect deeply with people in my life.  

Better Work-Life Balance 

Throughout the day, I’ll often hop on social media several times to check my Facebook groups or answer questions in my messages.  What starts off as a quick check-in ends up being much longer, pulling me away from my work or from feeling focused.  Without that distraction, I found myself getting more done in less time.  This left more room for leisurely lunch breaks and taking time to sit in the sun, have a solo dance party, or just relax before diving back into work.  My days felt more spacious and calm, less frenetic and full.  

Less Stimulation Overall 

As you can imagine, without so much screen time, my nervous system felt much happier and overstimulation levels were way down!  Lower stimulation trickled down into my energy levels, mood, quality of sleep, and ability to focus.  After a few days of slowing down, I started to feel more relaxed, content, and clear-headed.  

Self-Soothing

It’s ironic that we often pick up our phones when we’re already overstimulated, but it’s a great tool to distract from whatever you’re feeling.  Unfortunately, not processing emotions in the moment doesn’t make them go away and the overstimulation just builds.  What could actually help soothe in times of feeling overwhelmed or emotional is doing some type of tactile activity - journaling, walking, crafting, cooking, yoga, or anything else that helps you feel grounded.  During my social media hiatus, I was so grateful to feel more space for creativity, spiritual practice, cooking, reading, and dancing.  This definitely helped me self-soothe as I got more in touch with the emotions that were bubbling up.  

Put Things in Perspective

Between my therapy private practice and a separate consultation business, I run two Facebook pages, four Facebook groups, three Instagram accounts, and two Twitter accounts.  As much time as I spend on social media for work and personal use, I was surprised how little I missed the experience of being on the apps during my week hiatus.  So I had to ask myself the hard question, “What am I really getting from social media?”.  Do I want to spend this much time there?  I realized it’s not about cutting out social media altogether, but being more intentional in engaging in the parts of it that bring me fulfillment.  I plan to stay focused on the heartfelt connections in my HSP bubbles, but set boundaries around the rest. 

So now that my social media hiatus is complete, what happens next?  Will I stay away forever?  Get rid of my phone?  As someone who is introverted and finds it helpful to use social media personally and professionally, I’m definitely going to return to digital life.  This time though, I’ll bring my social media boundaries with me!  That looks like only engaging at certain times of the day and for a contained period of time.  My goal right now is hopping on twice per day for about 30 minutes each.  After hearing about my experience of taking a social media break and limiting screen time, what changes, if any, do you want to make for yourself?