How to Find Comfort When Things Feel Uncertain
Looking back at the beginning of 2020, there seemed to be hope for a year that would bring clarity and growth. Instead, we were met with the collective trauma of a global pandemic, economic hardship, systemic racism and injustice, and climate change, to name a few. This has been a year that has brought more wounding than we could ever have imagined during those hopeful moments back in January.
If you’re a Black, Indigenous, or Person of Color, this year may have created even more of a sense of unsafety than ever before. For those of us who have a history of instability in our childhoods or are more impacted by suffering due to our empathetic nature, the uncertainty and suffering may feel like too much to handle at times.
Many Sensitive and Introverted folks are feeling emotionally and physically exhausted, overwhelmed, anxious, lonely, or scared. In addition to your own stress, you may also be feeling the suffering of those around you, making it especially difficult to find a sense of calm. All this can leave you feeling dysregulated to the point of not being able to manage emotions, relax enough to fall asleep, or concentrate on simple tasks. These are tough times so how do you regain at least a little bit of comfort and ease when everything feels chaotic? Below I share four ways to find comfort in hard times.
Create Predictability Through Routine
When life begins to feel out of control, it’s important to find ways to regain a sense of predictability. Even if you cannot leave your house, you can take control of your daily routine. Get up at the same time everyday, shower, dress, and eat meals at regular times. Differentiate weekends from weekdays by doing something special such as having a movie night, Zoom gathering with friends, or exploring a new outdoor area. It can be easy to let go of our routines, let the days blend together, and isolate ourselves from everything that happening around us, but this can have a detrimental effect on our physical health and emotional well-being.
Regulate Your Emotions
With the heightened stress and lack of safety you may be facing on a daily basis, it would make sense if your nervous system has gone into fight-flight-freeze mode. Maybe you feel on high alert, tense, digestive upset, anxiety, poor concentration, or trouble getting motivated. Your body may be in survival mode! It’s important to find ways to calm your nervous system through breathing, mindfulness exercises, or movement. Below are two of my favorites:
If you’re finding it difficult to function or manage your emotions, I suggest reaching out to a mental health professional for support. You can use the following directories to find someone in your area:
Maintain Connection with Others
There is safety and comfort in having community, so it can be helpful to remain in connection with friends, family, neighbors, or coworkers in any way you can. Calling to check-in with friends who you would normally text, having a Zoom gathering or movie night with loved ones, calling your neighbor to see if they need anything, or writing letters. Whether you are an Introvert or Extrovert, having contact with others is important, but it is up to you to decide how much interaction feels nourishing rather than depleting.
Seek Out the Familiar
Even simple tasks such as going to the store or walking outside that used to feel so routine now take a lot of effort and caution. When everything feels different, it’s important to find ways to feel familiarity. A fun way to do this is to watch your old favorite movies or shows, listen to music you loved growing up, read books that remind you of a simpler time, or rediscover activities you loved as a kid such as puzzles, crafts, or games.
During times of heightened stress or uncertainty it’s important to find ways to integrate comfort, connection, familiarity, and a sense of control. By maintaining routines you can remind yourself that you have at least a small sense of agency and autonomy. Practicing simple breathing and mindfulness exercises will soothe your nervous system and move it at least temporarily out of fight-flight-freeze mode, giving yourself a much needed break.
Connection and a sense of community creates safety when we’re feeling threatened, isolated, or unsure of what’s happening next. Lastly, increasing familiarity and engaging with activities that you have positive memories of can also be comforting to your frazzled nervous system that is exhausted from so many new stressors to navigate! Essentially, you need to keep emptying your stress bucket and wring out that emotional sponge that is constantly feeling everything around you. It’s hard being so empathetic and perceptive during times of uncertainty and remember that you have opportunities to care for yourself, however small.
